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What we also see in sex is a kind of submissiveness. But not a kind of submissiveness which is simply ‘do what you like, I’m just here for you’, but it…is, or can be, very manipulative. It is a way of getting the other person to exercise all his or her efforts towards pleasing you, and in that way controlling what they’re thinking, and in particular what they’re thinking of you.
Robert C. Solomon, No Excuses: Existentialism and the Meaning of Life