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Men have external genitalia, while women have internal genitalia. This simple difference makes a lot of difference in how they write about themselves—and how you might write about your characters. Male writers don’t often address internal sensation in a character, because they don’t experience it and probably often don’t realize consciously that it’s there . This accounts for a lot of Really Terrible sex scenes written by men if you look at the “Bad Sex-Scene Awards” in any given year, you’ll see that the vast majority are done by male writers .
Diana Gabaldon, “I Give You My Body . . .”: How I Write Sex Scenes